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Personality Development – Where and how does it start?

Personality Development – Where to begin!?

Hey Readers, before you start reading this article, I suggest that you read the first part of it here –

Personality Development – Would attending PD classes change your personality?

– then we’ll be on the same page!

Thanks for reading, now continuing with Personality Development (hereinafter PD)!

I asked my students –

Me: So….does anyone remember the date or time, year or venue when you felt that your personality has developed or maybe just started to develop?

They: !? [looking frowning-ly at me]

Me: When do you think your personality begins to develop?

They: When we start going to school…….

Me: Start going to school….do you really think so? Haven’t you heard in films and teleserials or even at home that when a lady becomes pregnant, she is asked to have good food, read good things, listen to good songs…basically spend time doing positive, worthwhile, wholesome and good things?

They: Yes!

Me: Why do you think they are made to do all that? Simple reason – the new born infant, who is still in the womb starts imbibing qualities while being in the womb itself! That is why all mothers-to-be are advised to think good, eat good and basically be happy during the time she is carrying the baby.

They: So after the baby comes out she need not think or eat good anymore? (they giggled)

Me: Well….that is definitely a good point you all have picked up but then if we start discussing whether she should continue to eat healthy food or jump on to junk food – we’ll start discussing something else altogether – but right now we must only focus on PD – ok?! So now the child is out after spending 9 months in total darkness and the first people it interacts with are its parents …of course doctors and nurses too – but parents are closest to the child during the first 7 years of its life. In fact it is for this reason that parents are asked to be extra careful because the formative years of a child’s life is very vital – parents and relatives (if living in a joint family) play a vital role in etching the personality of the child.


They: But Madam, we have seen cases where the child is absolutely different from his parents – like parents are absolutely simple and naïve but the son turns out to be rather unruly and rude and even a goon in the locality! How does that happen if parents are so simple and sober?

Me: I am just at first 7 years dudes! After your birth you do not just spend time with your parents right? You begin to interact with your environment…that gives many inputs to your psyche – you imbibe many qualities – knowingly or unknowingly you do absorb certain qualities which mature with time. So after parents come relatives, then neighbors, neighborhood friends, their parents, school teachers, school friends, local market place,media- TV, films, magazines and now social media too…can you now see where all you pick up traits from?

They: In that case then Madam, suppose twins are born to the same parents, same relatives, same set of friends…. they should be ditto copy – but that does not happen…twins are poles apart also we have seen!

Me: Do you remember your Class 8th Physics classes? Quantum theory? Let me remind you Hund’s rule : No two electrons can have the same set of four quantum numbers! So when 2 minuscule particles cannot be alike how can you expect two complex individuals to be alike….or even the same? Twins may be having the same set of parents or even relatives…but same friends, same teachers? Same incidents….like eg. twin A falls down and is deeply hurt – he is hospitalized, he goes through pain, he is injected…so many different experiences in 2 hours for him – which also means a change in the ‘set of experiences’ – which confirms the formation of an altogether different personality!

Anyways as I said – first 7 years – Parental traits are imbibed then from 8 to 13, they absorb qualities from the outside world. Friends, teachers, locality friends and acquaintances. It is at this point of time that individuals start selecting and rejecting traits and start developing strong likes and dislikes for things and accordingly turn into developed personalities. Personalities can be of many types like:

  1. Strong Positive Personality – eg. Truthful, honest, loyal, responsible, helpful, selfless
  2. Strong Negative personality – eg. Deceitful, disloyal, irresponsible, selfish, cunning
  3. Weak personality – eg. unconfident, fearful, timid, procrastinating, dubious
  4. Mediocre personality – eg. Careless, de-motivated, frivolous, inattentive

So the weak and mediocre personalities need to be in the company of stronger personalities (preferably positive of course) so that by being in the vicinity of stronger people, they themselves begin to gain confidence and develop other positive traits lacking in them….unfortunately the same happens if they fall in the trap of some strong negative personality – they become cunning, conniving and crafty!

They: Is mixing with strong personalities the only way we can develop into stronger personalities……

Me: Not necessary there are other means too…….next article…….stay tuned.


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